The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
