first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
