I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
