I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
