You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My life is pants optional.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
