Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
