like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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