Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
