and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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