wrigley field is MILF paradise
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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