he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
