It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
