he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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