haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
