he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize