dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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