bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
