dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize