Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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