You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
