you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
