based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
