is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize