i think my tv is drunk
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
