big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
