Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
