matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
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Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
These tits shall not be calmed
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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