so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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