Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
