Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Even my vagina gasped.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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