We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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