haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
