We won't sleep together?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
