There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
They have beer where we have blood.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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