Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
