The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
only if we run a train.
done.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
