Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
