Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize