He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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