the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
