dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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