So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
