Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize