The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
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Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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