Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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