So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i've created a new STD.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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