the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
