38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
