and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
