Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
