dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
