last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
