Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Randomize
