just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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