i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
