I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
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