i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
