you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
