your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
