I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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