dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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