I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
